After being totally stabbed in the back by yet again another church, I have made the decision to take my membership completely out of the church and to never again do anything for the church. I have been terribly hurt by the church at least 3 times now and will never open myself up to being hurt by this institution again. There is no way that Christ would call these churches His brides today the way that their ministers act by allowing their congregation to be hurt so badly. While this is the choice that I am making for myself, I'm still taking my daughter to a UMC for Sunday school and bells because SHE wants to do it. While there I refuse to be active and usually can be found doing needlepoint. I have come to the conclusion that I have no need for the way the church acts and that's my final analysis of the situation.
Sorry for the rant this morning. This is something that I've been wanting to say since Sunday but wanted to find the right words for saying it.
Fish Slime. Important Accessory. (if you’re a fish.)
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On the way home from school Ethan-9yr says, “Mom. You should NEVER take the
slime off a fish.” Ethan-9yr often starts conversations like these. I adore
the...
6 hours ago
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I absolutely understand the hurt and frustration that comes from mistreatment by other Christians.
I don't know all the details but I encourage you to pray that your heart stays soft toward them. I hope that in time others will apologize for any offenses and or that you can find a church where you won't encounter ill treatment.
I am so sorry you have been so hurt. I have been hurt, as a pastor's wife, so many times by so many churches, I can't even count them all. But my family has finally, finally found a wonderful church. I think what happened here was that my husband simply does not tolerate gossip at all and addresses it from the pulpit. Anywhere you go these days, I think you'll find conflict. I think it's good you're taking a break. I hope you will find healing in Jesus. If you want to talk, just dm me on twitter. I'm KarlaAkins. Hugs, dear sister.
Thank you both for your kind words. It's just really sad that the church has become this way. What makes it even sadder is that the pastor of this church isn't trying to even address the issue but simply smirked instead.
I saw your message on Twitter, read your blog post, and had to respond. I've been hurt by church members also, and I have been where you are--just fed up, tired, and in pain.
Although my parents were Christians, they did not attend church during my childhood--neither one of them was particularly fond of "organized religion" because of their own painful experiences within the church. So I don't think it's necessary to attend church to be a good Christian. So many people are turned away from the message of Christ because of the bad behavior of his ambassadors, and that should not be!
After working through some of my own bitterness, I finally came to the conclusion that being Christian doesn't mean people cease to be human with all the faults that humans have. Even the apostles had their faults and their quarrels with one another. I think looking at people with a forgiving and understanding heart, knowing their human frailties, is the same thing Christ does for us. Being able to see people the way he does is difficult, and it doesn't excuse ill treatment, especially when that ill treatment comes from someone--like a pastor--who should be a more mature Christian, but it does help lessen the pain through understanding.
As a Christian I know I still hurt people, even those closest to me, but I pray that God will help me see my faults and through grace improve my behavior.
May God bless you and heal your injured spirit. Hugs.
Thank you for your post Kelley. I do agree with you and believe that Christians are humans. I just also believe that as an organized system the church has truly failed to measure up to what Christ would like it to be.
I'm sorry you've been hurt. I understand. I'm a pastor's wife and I've been horribly hurt before.
I came across this post the other day and thought you could probably relate- http://herbadmother.blogspot.com/2008/09/dear-tormentor.html
Thanks Tara! You inspired another post about mean churches LOL But hell ya (excuse my French) I can relate!
I've just left a situation (well, we have - my husband was the pastor) where the way things were done at the end were extremely hurtful. It's so awful, and I feel your hurt. I'm terribly sorry that you have to go through this, and I can only pray for your healing. It sucks, and nothing I can say (or anyone else) can take that away. I just hope that Jesus will touch those hurts and heal you.
I'm saddened by those remarks after reading all the comments. I've been to a number of Christian churches already since I became a believer, honestly there is no perfect church. Satan is alive in the church and trying to sow havoc in the very core member of the church, so that the most vulnerable could fall prey to him. I even witnessed a pastor being brought to a court and member suing each other. Some churches are even forming faction. But this didn't stop me to seek a home church where I can work harmoniously with one another. I know I'm not perfect indeed. We need to have fellowship with one another. By this you should learn to know Satan's tactic, he might be using others to destroy you and hate the church. Be forgiving and humble, by keeping grudges you're only destroying your own self. Keep focusing your eyes to the Lord. He will be our source of strength. Anyway, you're not working for people but to God. I can be with you in prayer.
I just want also to take this opportunity to tell you that I'm giving away free images for downloading and paste it in your blog. These images can help in spreading the gospel. I hope you drop by. Thanks. http://lifemomento.blogspot.com
We serve the Lord our God, not the church. Churches aren't perfect, Christians aren't perfect. You can't change others so all we can do is make sure we are in right relationship with God. Jesus was no stranger to hurt--he was betrayed by one of his closest friends after all. Yet, he went through with carrying His Father's will. Christians need encouragement from other Christians. Perhaps it's time to look for a different church. Certainly, we should enjoy meeting with our fellow believers. It sounds like you have become bitter and that's not going to go away unless you can forgive those who've hurt you. Choose to forgive and ask God to help you do it. Christ forgave those who hurt him and He is the one we need to imitate. Eph. 4;31-32; 5:1-2.
Wow. I'm sorry that you got hurt, but church isn't about how other people are to us, it's about how we are to them. And we are supposed to be the example of Christ. I know, though, where you are coming from- having been hurt by people in my church many times and having seen my children hurt as well. There is no perfect church, because every church is made up of imperfect people-yourself included.
As difficult as it sometimes is, and I know full well just how difficult that can mean, you need to keep your eyes on Jesus and on worshiping Him. If your eyes are on Him, they cannot be on those around you. If your thoughts are on Him, they cannot be on those around you either. Just imagine, if others in your church see you focusing on Christ, they may follow your lead. But, if they see you pouting as you are now, (which really boils down to self-worship), what are they going to do?
Wow! That took guts. I have to agree with you about the churches and ulterior motives that may be present in a good deal of them. I'm an ordained minister myself and I personally do not like the organization that religion has become. I refuse to minister in any named church because that is not what we are supposed to do for people. Once you take politics and money out of the mix you get something that should be there. Unfortunately, that is not what a lot of these named churches want, it's becoming more like Walmart every year and it's so sad. Congratulations on making a difficult and heartfelt decision because it has been in you to make, just waiting for the right time to come out. Who is to say who's words made it come out! Be Well.
I have experience the most pain in my life as a direct result of churches. Its been devastating.
See Why I Don't Go To Church Anymore! http://budurl.com/nochurch
He wrote a book (free to download)
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